Hazy Shadows
by NotWhoYouThinkThisIs
Summary: She looked upon a monster, a beautiful creature with killing eyes. Soon the eyes would be filled with the lives she had destroyed, the families she had torn apart. No. She would have to run... R&R please! :D previously entitled gray moon, now in HIATUS
1. Shadows and Reflections

**A/N:**

**Justin:** I've wanted to write something about the pack for a while now. It seems like such a shame that they're such second-class citizens in the Twilight world.

**Tequila:** It's not their fault they're not vampires!

**Justin:** And it certainly isn't Jacob's fault that he's not Edward.

**Tequila:** Hey, Justin! We should lead a revolution!!!

**Justin:** Huh?

**Tequila: **And we could storm the vile bastions of the evil oppressors, and liberate the beleaguered people, and free the subjugated masses, and laugh in the face of tyranny, and, and…

**Justin:** Tequila? Take it easy, okay? I just meant that it seems a shame that their stories aren't told so often, that's all, okay?

**Tequila**: We're going to need an army… and rations… and ammo…. Ooh!! I love ammo…

**Justin: -**sighs- Just, enjoy the story, okay?

**Disclaimer:** You think we're Stephenie Meyer? -laughs so hard they fall off their chairs and hit their heads on the floor- ouch. Okay. We're not Stephenie Meyer. Duh.

Tonight was the night. I shifted in my chair as my family joked and laughed around me. It was a good front, but I could tell they were just dealing with it the best they could. There was the slight hum of tension in the air, the sounds of too-loud laughter echoing softly off the thin walls. I could see the stiffness of my brothers' muscles, the way the knuckles on their hands were white from suppressed energy. Soon they would release that energy. Soon we would run.

I excused myself from the room; I needed some time to think. I didn't feel scared- I felt eager, and nervous, and ready to fight for my family. But my older brothers were silent, there gazes locked in front of them, saying little. _That_ frightened me. They were the ones who had the most control, who could afford to joke around and laugh the most. They were the noisiest and loudest of the bunch; always making us youngsters relax and have fun on the job. Tonight was different. They weren't laughing tonight.

I went to the bathroom, placing my shaking hands on the edges of the sink. I knew what was coming. I had seen their memories, known their thoughts, yet I had no clue what I was getting myself into. Knowledge wasn't enough, it was the experience that was key- and although I felt their thoughts as if they were my own- I had, in no way, felt what they had gone through. Only a shadow, a reflection of what happened was passed down to me. I just hoped it would be enough.

I looked up into the mirror, seeking answers. A 17 year old girl stared back at me; her storm grey eyes were determined and questioning. There was no makeup on her face, nor was there any jewelry. The girl smiled, remembering what had happened to her brother when he got his ear pierced. The smile changed her face. Her grey eyes became mischievous, playful. It looked as if a light had sparked on inside her eyes, illuminating her entire face. Her curly black hair fell in waves down to her waist. The girl looked down at her wrist, wondering whether or not to tie her hair back. Then she shrugged. It wouldn't matter. She would hardly notice it later.

I moved my glance from my wrist to my hands. They had stopped shaking. They lay light and easily on the sink. I washed my face, and made my way back to the main room, where my family stood crowded. Looking around, I realized how many of us we actually were.

Boys perched on every countertop imaginable, stuffing the room with their body heat. I couldn't call them men yet, not the way they acted. But that was perfectly fine with me, I loved my family. My pack-brothers' attitude to take nothing seriously could always cheer me up, always make me feel safe. Danger was nothing to them, just another night on the job. Nothing could bring them down. Members of the tribe who happened to be in on our secretwere there too, conversing in hushed tones with Sam and Jake. I grinned when I realized that Jared and Kim were nowhere to be found. Em looked worried, often casting looks in my direction. Sam listened to her with narrowed eyes, while Jacob stood silent and staring. My fists clenched, I knew what they were talking about. It was obvious from their body language and posture that there was only one thing they could be discussing- me.

I moved over to them before they could confront me. There was no way I was being left behind- I wasn't as bad in a fight as Leah. I could keep my head. I wasn't desperate to prove myself. I didn't have to prove myself to a family that had already accepted me.

"No. I don't care what you say, I'm going." I stated- before they even opened their mouths. "Yes, after seventeen years in this body, I _do_ realize that I'm a girl. And I _do_ realize that I'm not as strong as some of the guys, but it's not strength alone that will win this! I can handle this, I promise!"

Sam shook his head. "We need someone to guard the pups while we leave."

My grey eyes flashed stone-cold. The pups were our joke for our relations who weren't one of us. "I'm not being left behind." I whispered, voice turning hard edged. If Sam or Jake gave me an order, there was little I could do against it. I had to convince them to let me go. My place was with them, on the field. Not being sheltered at home _waiting_.

Jake narrowed his eyes, thinking. My own eyes widened. He looked like he was going to speak. Jake had only just returned from his journey three nights ago. In the time since I first joined the pack, I only knew he existed from his thoughts and thoughts of others. Our connection has no limits. Even separated, we are family.

In those three nights Jake never uttered a word. Not even to his father. He was just always there- cold, silent, staring. There was a messy look to his eyes, as if he had been broken and sloppily pieced back together. After hearing his voice for all these years, I knew his story. I learned to tune him out, to give him his privacy. It was hard on us all, hearing our brother in pain, feeling his thoughts. But like I said before, we didn't feel his torture. His agony. We only felt an echo.

Sam opened his mouth to reply, but Emily cut him off.

"There is no way you're going out there." She said calmly and patiently. "It's too dangerous."

One side of my mouth lifted up into a wolfish grin. That was the exact opening I had been waiting for. "If it's too dangerous for me, then it is by _far_ too dangerous for Jack." Jack was still sixteen; he was just getting used to his powers, and had a hard time controlling himself. "Besides," I continued "I bet Paul will be even more trouble than I could ever be."

As I said that I prayed he couldn't hear me. Paul was known for his poor anger management, and his ability to show up in the worst of times. If he caught me now, there was no way I would be physically fit enough to go. He would rip me to shreds.

A slight twitch in the corner of my vision caught my eye. Sam had folded his arms over his chest while Jake- I could hardly believe it- gave a hard edged smile. I knew if I could win him over, I would be free to go. It was a long shot, but there was no other option. Sam took his duty seriously, possibly the only one of us who did. Emily was too concernedtoo human.She thought I was weak. Jacob was the only route to take if I wanted a chance to fight. Mentally crossing my fingers, I proceeded.

"It's not like I'm going to be like Leah." I said, turning to Sam when I was really pleading my case to Jake. "I don't need to prove myself. If I haven't already proven that I can keep up with the pack, then there's nothing more I can do to convince you."

Sam nodded, slowly. Jacob's hard-edged smile turned into a mocking grin.

"She's got a point." He said gruffly, before falling silent once more.

I beamed at him. It had worked! I turned to Sam, who gave a heavy sigh while rubbing his temples.

"Fine." He muttered, looking back at me. "You'll be partnered with Jacob."

I mentally sighed; he was still trying to protect me. But I would take it, anything would be better than not going at all. Thanking them both, I withdrew myself into the crowd. I made a beeline to the counter, where several of my brothers sat joking and fooling around.

"Well?" Josh demanded, almost glaring at me. Josh was my best friend. We hadn't known each other for long, only for about two years, but we had bonded closely. We could annoy the crap out of each other, and still come back for another round. He knew what was going on inside my head, and I knew what was going on inside his heart. We could take care of each other, like we always have. We were pack-mates. We were family. "What's the news?"

I looked at the floor in frustration, clenching my fists, and turning my head away. I concealed my smile, and hid the good news. On the counter I heard Josh twist towards me, along with our other good friends.

"YES! Kat, that's awesome!" He yelled, leaping off the countertop to give me a bear hug. Josh _always_ knew when I was faking; it was some sort of talent of his. I laughed and returned his hug screaming with excitement as my friends launched themselves at us, making a huge dog pile. I lost my breath as the pile grew, slowly crushing me.

"Get….off…" I squeaked out, struggling. The guys on top laughed and stood up, pulling us to our feet. I was bombarded with a new round of hugs, arm punches, and hair-mussing. They thought I wouldn't be able to go, and I hadn't expected anything more. It was a relief to know that I would be fighting with my friends, and protecting my family. I would not be left behind. There were only two girls in the entire pack- me and Leah. I didn't like her much, but I trusted her. After her mistake years back she had grown to be a great fighter, and a fearsome protector.

"So who are you going to be partnered with?" William asked, his fingers constantly moving. Although his real name was William, we all called him Ace for his innate ability to win at blackjack. He also loved to gamble, and he was constantly moving. I don't believe there was a time where he ever sat still.

My eyes narrowed. This was the part I was the most nervous about. "Jacob Black," I said timidly, looking at the floor.

The people around me fell silent for a split second, before the clamor began anew.

"Dude." I raised an eyebrow at Josh- did he actually say 'dude'?

"Man… he's like a legend." I shifted my gaze to Eric. He looked awestruck.

"Like a legend?" Dave retorted "He _is_ a legend."

I shrugged; I didn't want to talk about it. "I only got him so I'd be protected."

This made them fall silent again. I felt hostility glowing from their eyes and I wondered if I'd offended them by disrespecting Jacob.

"That's stupid…" Ace muttered, fingering the edge of his shirt. "Everyone knows you can take care of yourself."

My heart practically melted, I was so touched. I looked around at the group, everyone was nodding. I gave a huge smile and looked down, embarrassed. I didn't know my pack-mates had such confidence in me.

"Hey, at least you're going right?" Josh said, throwing his arm around my shoulders and lightening up the mood. "We'll all be there together and all that jazz!"

I laughed "Yep! The entire Awkward Squad in all it's glory!"

We had dubbed ourselves the Awkward Squad since we had all transformed within weeks of each other. The first couple of months were hell for everyone, as we slowly got used to our new abilities- and especially our new appetites. It had been hell to teach us all, from the thoughts we heard. My smile grew when I remembered all the mistakes that we made- usually all at once. The older pack-members had there hands full trying to instruct us, and to make sure we were okay. Looking back now it's hilarious. Back then it sucked. I had been the last to change. _No one _expected it. I was treated differently; I had to work twice as hard just to keep up. Now I can keep pace with everyone. Now I can hold my own.

The friends around me laughed, and did the sign for the Awkward Turtle. It was our sign, our symbol. It united and represented us. Before we could move on, everyone went quiet. I turned around and saw Sam with Jacob hovering behind him.

"It's time." He whispered, but it was heard by all.

We moved as one to the forest, where we began the change from human to animals. Too late did I remember to take off my shoes. _Great_, I thought, _there goes another pair_.

I looked up through the shaggy black fur that entered my eyes to my fellow pack mates. There was Josh, his grey muzzle striped with black. Ace's tail was wagging furiously as he shifted his weight from paw to paw. Eric padded up to join them, clearly visible now due to his snow white fur and electric blue eyes. We moved over to Sam, Quill, Paul, Jacob, Embry, and Leah. Instantly the voices hit.

"_The newborns fight based on strength. There aren't as many this time as there were before, but be on your guard…"_

_A flood of memories came pouring in, making me want to dig my claws into the ground and howl with the pain. There was a girl, and her family. They lined up in front of the wolves, who all eyed them with hostility. All but one._

_The battle started, with the newborns thrashing around in utter chaos. A small grey wolf ran after one, getting into their trap. The one wolf thought out a warning, but was ignored. By slamming himself into her, he was able to get her to safety. The wolf howled in pain as every single bone in the right side of his body was crushed to pieces._

_Cold vampire hands examined his mangled body, the stench filling the air and making him want to suffocate. Words of assurance were whispered, but they all became a dull murmur as he sank back into darkness._

_The girl was there again, the message written plane on her face. She had made her choice, she was leaving. She had come to say goodbye. At the end of her parting she opened her mouth and whispered._

"_I love you."_

Then there was nothing. A black hole opened up in Jacob Black's mind and swallowed all his thoughts of the girl, except for the precious few he would never let go of. The memories he cherished the most were still there, locked in a haze of pain. His mind went numb, and he fought hard not to think.

_A beautiful baby girl in the arms of the leader's mate. The world fell away; life as previously known ceased to exist. She was life. She was gravity. She was what kept you here. You watched her grow; made sure she got everything she ever needed, everything she ever wanted. She was everything dear to you. She was the meaning for your existence. You needed her, and you were lucky enough that she needed you too._

That obviously had to be Quill. He spent most- if not all- of his time thinking about Claire. His and Jacob's thoughts tangled up with the other members of the pack, clashing and moving together inside my head. As I readjusted the thoughts sorted themselves out: organizing themselves to be more accessible inside my head. With the pack as full as this, it was essential to know who was speaking when, what they were talking about, if it concerned you, and if it were an order. It used to be torture, everyone looking inside your head, the voices swarming you. As you got used to it the advantages became clear. We were united in spirit, being, and mind. We became one.

"_Are we going now?"_ I grinned when I recognized the twin voices of Paul and Ace. Both of them were fidgeting, eager to move.

Sam nodded, his eyes filled with worry. He hoped that this battle wouldn't turn out as serious as the last one. We had almost lost a pack-mate then. He couldn't risk any one of us; we all had to come back alive.

We howled into the crescent moon, and began the run. Tonight we would fight. Tonight, we would run. We would protect our families and each other, we could act as one. The feeling of pride swept through me, making me feel as if I were flying over the land. The Protectors were ready to defend the Tribe.

We made our way into No Man's Land, to the boundary line. Eric stayed at the back, keeping out of sight. Josh was his partner. I was up in front with Sam and Jacob, and Ace and Dave were somewhere behind me. "_Where are they? How will we know if they will come this way?_" That was Jared. He clearly hadn't been paying attention earlier today. I gave him a wolfish grin as he glared at me for thinking that.

"_We received a warning." _Sam replied, looking dead ahead. Jacob's mind still remained in darkness, but from the others who had done battle that day I caught flashes. _A vampire, staring up at Jacob, wrinkling her nose against a stench and smiling. The same vampire dancing as she fought- twirling, evading, and killing. Another vampire followed in her wake, never leaving her side. Alice._

_"Why would she warn us? She's as much of a bloodsucker as the rest of them." _I couldn't tell who asked that, too many voices were clamoring for the question to be answered.

_A cliff, a girl, a vampire with golden eyes. Two others were approaching. You had orders to stay, not that you wanted to leave now. You wanted to be where the fighting was, and the fight had come to you. The vampire with red hair and crimson eyes made her way to the vampire in front of the girl. He was your….ally. Your comrade. With a howl the battle started. You feinted to make the she-vampire's companion over confident, you were limping. You continued to make sure he thought he had the advantage, until you had him right where you wanted him….._

_The battle was one, you searched off for the missing body parts, knowing you couldn't leave any one behind, or else the leech would leave. You returned with most of the torso, to find the vampire bringing out a lighter. He extended out a fist, and smiled. You smiled back, and butted your nose into it. You had won._

Seth Clearwater's memory was cut off as Jacob spoke, eyes tense and claws sunk into the floor.

"_It was a favor from…. A friend." _He struggled to clear his mind, but this time the image came through his walls, like a flood.

_Alice was there again, this time alone. The wolf in front of her growled deep in his throat and barred his teeth. Likewise was Alice growling, hands positioned out like claws. They stood on opposite ends of a field, a place many miles away. The wolf refused to phase change back into a human, to let down his guard. He knew the vampire, and who she was connected too. No, he could not- would not- think about her. Why was Alice Cullen there anyway? Why wasn't she with her family? Many questions entered his mind, but he would not change back to human to ask her._

_Physically relaxing herself, Alice took a step back. "Newborns, a small army. Heading to LaPush. They'll be there in a week. Someone wants you all dead." The look on her face clearly added that she couldn't blame that person in the least._

_The wolf tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. The vampire understood._

_"Bella asked me too." She said curtly, watching the pain in the wolf's eyes tighten. "And it wasn't that hard to track you, you have a pretty powerful stench." Then she took off._

_The wolf was stuck. The wolf wanted to keep running, wanted to escape. But the wolf could not leave his pack-mates back there to fight, no matter how small the opposing force was. As soon as one of his brothers phased-changed, they would know what was coming. But no matter what the wolf wanted to do, he had a duty to his brothers. He had to return. Turning around, he ran back to the trees, and to his home._

That memory too, was cut off. The message from Embry was loud and clear in everyone's mind as he spoke.

"_They're here."_

**A/N: It makes us happy when we review, and when we're happy we smile and make our friends lives happy, and when they're happy they do better in exams, which we have this week. So if you don't want to doom our friends to a sad life at a Community College somewhere, which will ultimately lead to lack of job satisfaction, depression, and general misery, please review. Plus, the more you guys review, the less cliffhangers and suspense you'll have to endure between chapters, since we'd be writing a whole lot faster. We even have anonymous reviews set up. So, please review. Thanks. **


	2. Limbo

**A/N**

**Justin:** Okay, Chapter Two up and ready!

**Tequila:** JUSTIN!!!! I got the ammo, and I'm ready--

**Justin:** Tequila, no, please, we really don't need any of that.

**Tequila:** But...but... I like it.

**Justin:** I know, but I'm trying to tell the readers that- oh, nevermind. What is it?

**Tequila:** We're going to free the prisoners in the Bastille:D

**Justin:** -sighs as he prepares a long lecture she will undoubtedly ignore- Tequila... the Bastille hasn't held prisoners since...

****

**Disclaimer:** Don't you think Stephenie Meyer could come up with more creative pennames that Justin Saine and Tequila Mockingbird?

The noise they made was deafening, with shrieks and crashes resonating throughout the forest. Silently we split up with our partners, moving in to surround them. I almost gagged on the stench they emitted, but Jacob pressed on. Right around the time where I was physically suffocating, Jacob halted. I sat by him, and together we waited for the order to attack. We had our orders to wait for everyone to get into position before we could move. Until then we listened to each others thoughts. Some were encouraging, others we nervous. Some minds were just blank, concentrating on one thing at a time. The entire process was taking ages. Eras of my life seem to go by before we heard the call.

_Charge._

With howls and snarls we leaped into the fray. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of snow-white Eric with his teeth embedded in the wrist of a newborn. Rushing towards him, I slammed into the newborn's back before it could swing its other arm around and crush Eric's neck. It crashed to the floor, where Eric promptly grabbed its head in his jaws and yanked it off. I ripped off the torso and leg, and barred my teeth as the mass of bodies- both vampire and werewolf- swarmed around me. "_Stick with Jacob!_" Came Sam's voice, commanding and clear. I dodged my way around the crazed newborns, using my speed and small frame to evade them. Eric would be fine, I told myself. In reply for my concern, his voice raged inside my head _"I can do this myself! Get your own!"_

I made it beside Jacob, who was clinging to the back of a tall vampire wreaking havoc. I launched myself at another one nearby, managing to rake my claws down its arm. I didn't think Jacob would appreciate me helping either, and he looked in control anyway. As the vampire shrieked and turned I ducked, careful not to get myself within its hold. If I got hurt in this fight, then I would be imprisoned at home for the rest of my yearsI was acutely aware of the vampires' strength, and of the venom burning in their fangs. But it wasn't as horrible as their eyes. The bloody red, vicious eyes. They shown with every killing, every mauling, every murder they had done. It was the one thing that gave them away for what they truly were. I hated those eyes, hated what they stood for. It was my job to close those eyes forever.

A hand swiped out at me, hitting my forepaw. I yelped as I felt all the bones in my left hand break. I cursed myself; I should have been paying attention. But those eyes… I'd catch it next time. I would recover, and I was a righty anyway. The thoughts of my pack-mates roared in my head: shouting out warnings to each other, plotting their strategy, and silently taunting the vampires. I pushed away the thoughts, concentrating on the kill in front of me. Suddenly a voice rose from among us, frantic and worried.

"_Jacob! Why the hell are you all the way here! Where's Kataya?" _Sam was roaring in his head, images flickering left and right to the rest of us. A swirl of memories came at me, but I pushed them off. I could not concern myself with this, not now. Not while we were fighting.

_"SHIT!" _I had never heard Jacob's voice so clearly or loudly, clamoring above the rest of the thoughts. That I _had_ to pay attention to. What had caused him to yell so loudly?

As I finished off the vampire that had crushed my hand, I finally realized the problem. Jacob and I had attacked from the back, where the newborns were the thickest. Jacob had somehow fought his way to the front, and I being occupied, had not noticed. Now he was on the opposite end of the fight, next to Sam, and the newborns around me had taken advantage of his absence. _I _was surrounded, and with my left paw broken- though healing very quickly- there was no way I could run. I backed my way further into the forest as the vampires in front of me approached. They were all muscled, two were brunettes and the last one was a male blonde. They all had the same look of desperate hunger and madness overbearing their every action. Their mouths were open, showing each one of their teeth, and their arms were outstretched, as if all they wanted to do was embrace me.

Many thoughts entered my head, both mine and others.

"_I'm screwed, I'm screwed, I'm screwed."_

_"HELP HER! GET BACK!"_

_"I'm so screwed, I'm so screwed, I'm so screwed. I'm dead."_

_"WHAT DO YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO DO!??!"_

_"I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm- oh, what the hell. If I'm going I'm taking them down with me!"_

_"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT HER IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!"_

_"COME ON BLOODSUCKERS! WHICH ONE OF YOU IS FIRST!!!"_

_"IT'S KIND OF HARD TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING AFTER BEING AWAY FOR SIX YEARS!!!"_

They had reached me. I snarled and raised on my hind-legs, swiping with both my forepaws towards the two girls. They hopped back, but I had left my belly exposed for the male.

"_Kataya!"_

I was vaguely aware of the females shrieking as Paul and Ace took them on, leading them away from me. My main attention was focused on the male, who was being blasted towards me. A grey beast barreled into him from behind, unbalancing him and propelling him forward. I saw too late that we were on a straight collision course: headed right for one another with no room to move.I turned to run, but the vampire- with Josh still on his back- slammed into my shoulder. I yelped and whined with the pain, and then…screamed. Something was wrong. Why was I screaming? I shouldn't be screaming. I didn't have the vocal cords _to_ scream.

The newborns were going crazy, their antics getting more frantic and wild. They were practically target boards with legs to my pack-mates now. The little technique they possessed had gone. I was still screaming, the pain that travelled through me made my body shake. _What's happening?_ My head was filled with the roaring of the newborns, but possessed none of the comforting voices of my pack-mates. I wanted to know what was going on. I clamped my hands over my ears and held on to my hair to make the pain stop. Why wouldn't they shut up? Why couldn't they all just _shut up_! Where was my family? Why weren't they helping me? I was begging for help, begging for the noise to stop. I kept screaming- HOW COULD I BE SCREAMING!?!?!

I opened my eyes. In front of me was the male vampire- or his head at least. I saw the point where his teeth- still barred- had collided, and lodged, within my shoulder. My very human shoulder. I stared at the sight, uncomprehending. I couldn't understand why I was human, why I was lying there screaming in pain, instead of healing and taking my revenge. I saw Josh's horrified expression as he tipped the head over and saw the damage. His eyes reflected my pain, and he howled to the sky. The added noise was too much.

"SHUT UP!!!" I cried, my shoulder beginning to burn and my head feeling as if it were going to explode. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! STOP YELLING! MAKE THEM STOP!"

But there was no more yelling, not from the newborns. My wolf family crowded around me, but my vision was blurring around the edges with darkness. My head was still ringing. I couldn't change back. I couldn't stop the noise. I couldn't stop the burning that pulsed through me. I yelled with the pain and clamped my good hand over the fire. It wouldn't go out! It wouldn't stop! Help me! What's happening to me? Why won't I heal? Why can't I get up? I can't see! Where is everyone? Don't leave me here! WHY WON'T IT STOP BURNING???

I couldn't take it anymore. I yelled and yelled and yelled until my voice lost its power. I couldn't feel anything, only pain, only fire. I couldn't see. There was eternal darkness in every direction. If I reached out I would fall into the abyss. I thought I was dead, and in hell. I screamed for mercy, I screamed for forgiveness, I screamed for the light. I begged for water, to quench the fire. It had consumed my whole body now. I wanted to die- but I was already dead. I didn't understand. What had I done wrong? What horrible sin did I commit? Why was I sentenced to this?

No one came. No one answered. I was left alone in the darkness, left alone with the pain. I began to breathe in gasps, my entire body was convulsing as it tried to expel the torture, to stop the agony. It wouldn't stop. It would never stop. It would keep going on like this forever. I was shut up in hell for eternity. I began making deals with God, begging him to take me to heaven, to paradise, to release. Even spending the rest of eternity in limbo would be a welcome sight. I promised him I would believe in him and follow his will if he could get me out of hell, if he would take me away. But there still was no answer. There was no one there. I was lost in the darkness, I wasn't ever coming out. I was completely, and utterly alone.

**A/N**

**Justin: **And so, with Robespierre's death, the Reign of Terror was finally over.

**Tequila:** huh?

**Justin:** -sighs- Why do I even bother? Anyway, REVIEW PLEASE!!!


	3. Perspective

**A/N: **

**Justin: **WHOO!!! GO GIANTS! YEAH!!!!!

**Tequila:** YEY!!! SCREAMING!!!!! Wait… why are we screaming again?

**Justin: **THE GIANTS WON!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!!

**Tequila:** Ugh. Football…

**Justin: **…WHAT DID YOU SAY!? –glares-

**Tequila:** Um… Go Giants?

**Justin: **I thought so :D

**Disclaimer: **

**Tequila: **Okay Ms. Meyer, you'll give us Edward, or… WE'LL SAY THE STORY IS OURS!!!!

**Stephenie Meyer:** … but it's not.

**Justin: **-sighs- She's right you know… :(

**Tequila: **darn :(

Chapter 3: Perspective

Light. Glorious, healing light. It shined above me, blinding my vision. I couldn't see, but I hardly cared. The darkness had ended, the pain was gone. I had escaped hell. I had paid for my sins. The pain was gone. I couldn't remember anything that happened. I couldn't remember my name. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that the pain had ended. I had reached paradise.

Voices. Strangely familiar voices. My head struggled to figure out what they were saying. At first it all sounded like meaningless jumble, but slowly pieces of words fit together.

"Do you think…?"

"… don't know, seems that…."

"She's stopped…."

"She stopped screaming days ago, dim wit." That voice was clear, harsh, and scathing. Ages of guilt, pain, and anger lay within that voice.

I frowned. Days? That couldn't be right. It had to have been at least forever. 'Days' was meaningless to me. The fire had burned on for me than just 'days'.

"Look! She moved!"

"Kataya! Kataya can you hear me?!?!"

_Josh! _The name sprung into my mind, the image of him flashing through my brain. Kataya… that was my name. Kataya Fieldright Whorton. My frown deepened, remembering all the times I got made fun of in Kindergarten because of my name. The images were coming easier now, crashing down with torrents into my mind. I remembered everything. I remembered my friends, my family, my life. The pack… I tried to remember the battle. All I could recollect were the screams of the newborns, then… nothing. Was my family okay? Had anyone been injured? What happened? Did anyone die? Where was Quil? Embry? Paul? I couldn't hear them. I tried to think rationally, and slowly I began to push the panic away. I found the strength to answer.

"With all the noise you're making, who _wouldn't_ be able to hear you?" I tried to answer back sarcastically. It came out as a groan.

Cheers filled the room.

"SHE'S ALIVE!!!" Dave.

"She's back! Kataya's back!" Eric.

"Of course she's back! No newborn could take down _our_ Kat!" Ace. I grinned. I had heard him drumming his fingers on the tabletops with worry.

"Are you really back?" Josh.

"Water." I whispered. There was a burning in the back of my throat, it felt dry, burning, and… vicious. I guessed that was only to be excepted after days of screaming. I opened my eyes.

Faces crowded in front of me, filling up the tiny space around my bed. I blinked with shock, wondering how this many people had managed to fit. Josh was to my right, looking down at the floor. Next to him were Eric, Ace, and Dave. They were cramped up against the wall, each looking like they were having serious respiratory problems. A range of expressions crossed their faces, depending on their natures. I saw relief, happiness, and bravado. To my left was Sam, Jacob, and… I blinked again. There was no way.

Leah Clearwater.

There was a slight smirk of arrogance on her face, but her body language betrayed her. She was stiff and in an awkward position. She had been worried. Sam looked completely relieved, and Jacob wouldn't stop looking at my shoulder, guilt piercing his eyes. I frowned. Why was he staring at my shoulder?

"Here." Josh said, thrusting a bottle of water right in my face. I downed it in three mouthfuls, and he instantly thrust another one in front of me. It didn't help the burning in my throat, and it tasted like shit. Would the fire ever let go of me? I pushed past the taste, and tried it a couple more times, but still no success. Five nasty bottles later, I managed to look up at him and smile; I could forget about the burning for now.

"Hey." I said gently.

As I looked at him, something changed. His posture shifted, all the anguish in the world filled his eyes. There was a slight gasp from Eric. The pack looked upon me as if they had never seen me before. Something was wrong. I finally realized what had happened. Someone had been injured. Something serious had happened. But it wasn't any of them that had been hurt. It had been me.

"Shit." Jacob's soft curse reached my ears as he finally moved his gaze from my shoulder, to my face.

I flinched at the expression on his face, and the pain that mirrored Josh's. This was bad.

"What?" My voice was barely a whisper. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

Instead of answering, Jacob did the cruelest thing in the world.He grabbed a hand-held mirror from the desk across my bed, and held it up to my face.

I grabbed at it in horror, denying what I saw there. No. This was wrong. The mirror was broken. It was lying. This wasn't happening. I threw the mirror, sending it with such force that it slammed through the wall and went sailing out of the house. I leaped out of bed, pushing past everyone to get to my bathroom. Skidding to the sink, my once-more shaking hands grasped the side, and once again I looked up to the girl who faced me.

She had changed. Her face was different, her bones were more angular. Her black hair fell down softly, framing her face as if in a magazine. Her skin was paler than before, even though she spent most of the summer in the sun. Any movement she did was lithe and graceful, and heartbreaking. There was a crescent shaped scar on her shoulder. Her smile was dead. Her denial crumbled away as she was forced to meet the truth right in front of her eyes.

Her very red eyes. Her bloody, crimson, killer's eyes. The murdering eyes she detested, they were now hers. They were filled with the suffering and pain she had encountered in hell. The girl began to tremble. This wasn't _her_. She looked upon a monster, a beautiful creature with killing eyes. Soon the eyes would be filled with the lives she had destroyed, the families she had torn apart. No. She would have to run. She would tear herself away from all civilization. She couldn't harm anyone. She would not harm her family.

There was a sharp snap. I looked down to see what had happened. In my hands were pieces of the sink, which I had squeezed completely off. Even my hands had changed. They were flexible and strong. Even they could be used for killing. I turned to the door, where the pack was waiting. No. I couldn't bear to see them. I couldn't look upon the faces of those whom I would never see again. I would have to leave them all behind.

Desperation coursed through me. This couldn't be happening. Why me? Just why me? What had I done? I…hissed… and began to change. I couldn't control it. I had to go, now. I had to leave. I couldn't even say goodbye.

I ran out of the house and too the forest. I just kept running. I didn't get too far when thoughts barraged my head. The pack was running with me.

"_Kataya. Wait._" The order was from Sam, strong and clear. I growled. I couldn't disobey him, but I wanted to run, run as far away as possible. I needed to go.

Then the memories came.

_You had lost you're love, you had lost you're life. The man__whom you were going to marry had left you for your cousin. You had truly loved him, and you still did. Every day you had to listen to his thoughts, every day you could see what you did to him. He knew how you still thought of him, and it killed him inside. You knew he still thought of you the same way, but he just loved her more. Even the guilt he had for you was a ridiculously small amount compared to the guilt he had for scarring her beautiful face. Thoughts of suicide danced in your head. You're brother tried to help you, but he didn't know the half of it. He wouldn't understand. But you weren't going anywhere. You were Leah Clearwater, and you were here to stay. Even if that meant riding out eternity with a heart full of pain and old memories, people were going to remember you. You would make sure of it. You would leave your mark, just as he left his. Just as she left hers. You were not going to be forgotten._

_The doorbell ring. It was another cousin. Great. What would this one do? You pushed the thoughts aside as you went to answer. She was only staying for a day, then she would be with Emily and… him for the rest of the week. You were relieved to see that she was pretty shy, and didn't make a nuisance of herself. She and Seth got along well enough, and soon she didn't bother you at all. Of course you knew it couldn't last. Seth had gone for a bit, and it was just you and her. You saw her the moment she began to change, she turned her pleading grey eyes to you, asking for help. You sighed and opened the door. The girl ran._

_Now you finally arrived. The girl lay on the bed, one of her hands clenched into a fist on the bedspread. The other was crushing a pack-mates hand, but he looked like he hardly cared. The girl was white as a sheet, taunt lines running along her arms. Her lips were clamped together so tightly, there was a white rim around the edges. On her shoulder was a scar. You sighed to yourself. The dumb thing had gotten herself bitten. But you were still sad, you were still regretful. No matter what, you guys were family, and once again you weren't good enough. You hadn't been there for her. You pulled up a seat to the foot of the bed, and waited. Cousins were nothing but trouble._

The pack surrounded me, comforting me with their warm scents and pelts. I let the sense of family wash over me, calming me down. Although I would have to leave I would remain in their thoughts, and we would always be together. I would never leave them behind.

_"I am so sorry." _The amount of grief, anguish, torture, and guilt in this voice almost killed me. The strength of his memories was even worse.

_You were in the middle of the fight, watching out for yourself and your partner. You worked as a team, aided by the thoughts you shared. But when one particular thought came your way you stopped. She was in trouble. Your best friend…_

_You remembered the first day you had seen her.__You both were only fifteen, but you had changed a year earlier. She was confused, and in pain. She asked for your help, since your friends had turned away. Instead of joining them, you went to her. You were the first one to welcome her in. She became your little sister, your comrade, your friend. She was family. She knew everything that went on with you, even without phase-changing. Likewise, you knew her like the back of your hand. You two stuck together, becoming fast friends. At first you were shunned, since you were with The Girl, but you didn't care. You knew she wasn't bad. You knew she could handle herself. All she needed was time._

_You were right. Soon people warmed up to the both of you. You both made more friends, but never forgot the bond you shared. You were still family, you still looked out for each other. You always were there for each other. Always. There was no exception._

_Except for that day. She was surrounded, she was alone, and you weren't there. You shouted her name in warning, ramming one of the newborns surrounding her in the back. Both you and it went flying. You tore up its body, ripping it to shreds. Nothing was going to come to her. You knew your pack-mates had taken out the other newborns, so you knew she'd be okay. The trouble was over._

_That's when you heard the screaming. You stared at the girl in front of you with shock. Her midnight black pelt was shrinking, her bones were realigning. The girl kept yelling and yelling; she clutched at her head and writhed on the ground. What was wrong with her?? She was now fully human, driving the newborns mad. Their added noise caused her to shout louder. She was in pain, in anguish. She was being tortured. You went to move closer to her, removing the discarded head that blocked your path. That was when you saw everything._

_In meaning to protect her, you had destroyed her. The venom had already left its mark, and was now coursing through your best friend's- your sister's- veins, poisoning her. The battle was over, but you didn't feel like you won. You had just crushed the very thing you sought out to protect. You howled to the sky with despair. How could you have caused this?_

_"SHUT UP!! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" she yelled at you, her eyes pleading like they had those years before. They begged for help, for reassurance. "STOP YELLING! MAKE THEM STOP!"_

_But you couldn't make them stop: no one was yelling. The pack crowded around her as her eyes shut. But she was far from unconscious. Her screams continued. Even after you brought her to her room they continued. They only stopped when she lost the voice to scream, and even then her body convulsed with the effort. You were hardly aware of what was happening around you. People kept flitting in and out, but you stayed there. You were slightly aware of others that kept vigil with you, and voices in the background, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. You had caused this. This pain your best friend was going through, was all your fault. And you couldn't take it away. Even after the pain was gone, the mark would stay. You had ruined her life permanently, if she even survived. You even had your doubts about that. You killed her. You knew you had._

_"How long?" Your voice sounded strange even to you. It was listless, there was no emotion. _

_The leader cleared his throat. "Three days."_

_But that was a lie. The three days came and went, and still she wouldn't wake up. You knew she was alive though, her hands were tightly clenched and she would thrash around at points. You still hadn't moved. You even had to be force-fed. At one point she managed to yell. You grabbed her hand, and she crushed your fingers with an audible snap. You didn't care. You hardly even noticed. You ignored everyone and everything around you. Words, images, sounds- they went right on through you. You were with her, wherever she was. You would not leave. You stayed. You forgot about your broken fingers. All you did was wait._

_Four more days. Her breaths were coming in light and shallow gasps. Towards the end she began to regain herself. During the last hour, it simply looked as if she were sleeping. You were petrified. You didn't even dare to be hopeful. But then she frowned. The smallest of smiles crossed your lips. It looked as if she were trying hard to remember something she left at home._

_"Kataya! Kataya can you hear me?!?!"_

_You waited for the witty remark that was sure to follow, but all that came out was a moan. You didn't mind, and under the circumstances it was just as good. Cheers from your pack-mates resonated around the room. You winced. Didn't the noise hurt her? You still weren't sure if she was okay. You had to ask._

_"Are you really back?"_

_She whispered in reply "Water."_

_You grabbed one of the many bottles that lay beside you. They had been meant for you, but you weren't thirsty. Or hungry. Or alive. You had just been waiting. Your sister downed it all, making a face, and asked again. You grinned. She was definitely back. She was okay. Only after four more bottles did she stop._

_"Hey" she said softly, looking up at you and smiling._

_You froze. Your smile slipped off your face. What you had done stared back at you, clear as day. She looked a bit different, but that wasn't what troubled you. The guilt flooded you, crashing down in waves. What had you done?_

_Her eyes were red. Red as blood. The friendly light of grey had gone. Now those eyes were like all your enemies' blood, the people you were sworn to fight. But she didn't smell bad, you didn't want to fight her. She was still your best friend, she was still your sister. And look what you did. You had changed her. You had ruined her. You had destroyed her._

_She ran. It only took a split second for you to follow. Behind you your brothers followed. They too had a bond to the girl trying to escape her fate. Together you would keep her here, you would still protect her. There had to be away around this, you were sure. You would never repay your debt, but you didn't care. You remembered the promise you made, two years ago. You would always be there. No exceptions._

_No exceptions._

I stared at Josh in shock. Sometimes it was still hard to believe how much people valued me. I didn't understand why. I extended a paw to him, and butted his shoulder with my head. I did the only thing I could do.

_"You're forgiven" _I said.

He shook his head with a lopsided smile and a taunting look to his eyes. _"If you say so."_

It was then that Jacob Black's mind, which had been tightly closed off, opened up like a black hole.

_The wolf was back at the battle. He had been missing for a long time, but now he was back to defend his pack-mates, his family. He had been assigned a partner, a girl. This one didn't seem to be like Leah. She had convinced Sam to let her fight, she could cope. But still, the wolf had to stay with the girl throughout the fight._

_She seemed to be doing fine, and the wolf accidentally let his mind slip. Back to the old days, where he fought beside his leader. Unconsciously he moved towards him, leaving the girl behind. Soon he was fighting side-by-side with his Chief, like he did before. That was where he was meant to be._

_But not that day._

_"Jacob! Why the hell are you all the way here! Where's Kataya?"_

_The girl! "SHIT!" you yelled, turning around to make your way back to her, but the way was blocked by the remainder of the newborns. By the time you reached her, the damage had been done. Her human body lay on the ground, screaming and yelling. The wolf felt sick. He had failed. He hadn't protected her. Just like he had failed _her_… Bella. She would be going through this. She already had. And he couldn't stop her. She had changed._

_The wolf changed back into a human. Grabbing the writhing girl in his arms he ran back home. The pack was around him, and together they brought her to her room. She wouldn't stop yelling. It was starting to give him a headache; he found it hard to think. His thoughts kept flicking between his guilt, her pain, and the girl he had loved- who he still loved. He hated himself; he couldn't get her out of his mind. She wasn't the one being hurt, not anymore, and yet the boy couldn't let her go. He was paralyzed. He didn't know what to do. He didn't even think there was something to do. He couldn't see past what was happening. He didn't even know if the girl would live._

_But she did survive. She survived as an abomination. A mixed-breed. She wasn't human, but she wasn't evil. He hated himself for thinking like that. He had caused this, his idiocy had changed her. He knew she could not fight off who she now was; her thirst would call for human blood. She would want to feed on the very people she longed to protect. There was an alternative, he knew. It was almost too painful to remember…_

_Vampires. In a line. Five of them, with…Bella beside them. It hurt the wolf's heart to see her there, on the wrong side of the line. The wolf knew that she belonged with you, with the pack, with humans. He turned his mind forcibly away from…Bella… and focused on the bloodsuckers next to her. These weren't like the others. Although these vampires were just as vile and disgusting as the rest of them, they weren't… evil. Their eyes were a golden-topaz color, not the murderous red. The wolf had heard about their strange diet from...Bella, and he knew they only ate animals. No humans. 'Vegetarians' they called themselves. The wolf snorted. Sure, sure. He knew there had been some slip-ups. But they still stuck to their diet with a will power that surprised even him. They would not harm humans. They even went to school with them, and the Lead Bloodsucker worked as a surgeon in the hospital. He even saved lives. He was actually…good._

_"You can still live here."_

I processed this information. I could still… be here? With my family? I could stay where I belonged?

Sam came forward and nodded. _"We will work around this."_

_You watched the girl on the bed. The responsibility of what had happened to her gnawed at you, making it hard to concentrate. You placed a drenched wash-cloth on her head, but it didn't improve things much. You didn't blame Jacob, you didn't blame Josh. You blamed yourself. She had been your responsibility and you let her fight. You should have protected her yourself, at the very least. Now you were taking care of her, the best you could, but it wasn't enough. Josh was practically catatonic, and the Awkward Squad sat with him, solemn and staring. You wouldn't let Emily come anywhere close. You didn't know what would happen when the girl woke up. Counting the seconds, you simply watched, and waited._

_Now she was awake, and you had to deal with a new problem. None of your legends gave you any advice, and you were already confused. You tried to take on one thing at a time. Her diet would be taken care of, that was the most important thing. The other things would come later. When they came, you could work them out. But right now the only thing you could do was sit, and wait._

_"You can come home."_

**A/N** I know you guys probably have a lot of questions (like why isn't she raving after the werewolves, why she can still change, why she doesn't smell bad, etc.) but I promise, they will be answered in the future chapters!!! R&R please! Oh, and if you have a problem with Justin being a Giants fan, don't take it out on him. It really isn't his fault.


	4. Same As It Never Was

Same As It Never Was:

**Author's Note:**

**Justin: **This story was previously entitled Grey Moon, and is rated M for some heavy language.

**Tequila:** Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun!!

**Justin:** Um… right… anyway…

**Tequila:** DUN DUN!!

**Justin:** Just, review please.

**Tequila:** Dun dun dun…. DUN!!

**Disclaimer:** If we were Stephanie Meyer, we'd be on the set for the Twilight Movie, talking with Jackson Rathbone… Kellan Lutz… Peter Facinelli… Cam Gigandet… Robert Pattinson….sorry, what were we saying?

**Same As It Never Was:**

Three weeks. Two days. Sixteen hours. Thirteen minutes. Twenty-one seconds.

That's how long I've been imprisoned.

That's how long I've been a monster.

That's how long… I've been evil.

But who's counting, right?

Yeah, that sounded pathetic even to me.

I stared at the ceiling of my room, lying on my bed. Music played in the background, turning into senseless noise that remained without any common meaning. I felt… nothing. I was numb. Except for the fire. The burning, aching, fire. That was always there. The only reason I left my room was to feed, and yet it still persisted. It never left. It did ease off a bit, but it would always be there, reminding me of what I had become- as if the rest wasn't enough. As is I could ever forget.

Now that I had… changed, I could hear every heartbeat within this house. Every heartbeat except for my frozen one. The feeling made me sick, the thirst practically making go wild when the slow, steady pumping made itself heard. It was worse when Sam came around, and Emily's heart sped up like a sky rocket, or when I knew she was sleeping. I wanted it so badly, and I wanted it so badly to stop. I hadn't felt the burning ache for any of my pack-brothers, for which I was still thanking God for- but having it for my human family was agonizing. Knowing that I wanted them dead, just so I could escape a couple seconds of the burning, was the most awful, selfish, greedy feeling that I had ever experienced. But I couldn't help it, it was just who I had become.

And I hated it.

I hated myself, I hated the thirst, I hated the fire… I even hated my family. I hated them for driving me mad with bloodlust. Why couldn't they all stop tempting me, torturing me, with their precious flowing blood? Why couldn't their hearts all stop beating, too?

That made me hate myself even more.

I turned everyone away, I turned my own feelings away. I became an empty void. I faded in and out of day dreams, as I could never actually dream again. The nightmare was never-ending; I couldn't even escape into sleep to shut out the yearning for my family's blood. For every innocent person's blood. I refused to succumb to the urge- I went hunting often. When I did phase, I ignored everyone and every thought that intruded into my head. I didn't want to hear everyone that I had to leave behind.

For the most part they gave me space. The Awkward Squad quickly learned to stop coming, and after an initial period of time even the older pack members stopped trying. Only Josh kept insisting on intruding. He tried to come in every single day. Every single day there would be a knock on my door, every single day he would ask to come in, and every single day I would refuse to answer. "I'll come back tomorrow," he'd say, his voice sounding softly through the closed door, and every single day he'd hold true to his word. He just didn't know when to fucking quit. But then again- he never had.

I curled up on my side, trying to block out memories of my brothers and friends. It only added to the pain. Thinking of them only added to the pain….

A heartbeat. It wasn't Emily's, but the scent was similar. It was probably Sam, checking up on her. He didn't say as much, but I knew that he was scared. Scared to leave her alone with me. Scared to leave her with a monster. To tell the truth, I didn't blame him. I was scared as well.

The door slammed, and I heard a series of footsteps running up the stairs. I stiffened. The sound was coming closer, and getting faster, the break between footsteps becoming more frequent. Did something happen? Was the pack ok? Was Emily hurt? What was going-

_SLAM!_ With a sound that practically made my ears bleed, the door to my room wrenched off its hinges- and there, in the hallway, stood a person that I had never expected to see.

Eyes blazing bloody murder, Leah Clearwater threw the door down the stairs, stomped to my bed, closed her fist around my arm, and threw me down on the floor. Standing boldly in front of me, she placed her hands on her hips and glared down at me.

I lay on the floor, rolling over to stare at the ceiling once more. I sighed. It wasn't as comfortable as the bed. Picking myself up, I crawled back to the bed, turning so I was curled up on my side and facing away from Leah.

"Go away." I said; my voice flat and emotionless. I stared at my hands on the bed- they were left slack and lifeless.

Leah- dare I say it?- _stamped her foot_. I didn't fight her as she came over once more and grabbed my shoulder. Picking me up, she thrust me into the wall, hard enough to leave a depression in the plaster. As if that weren't enough, she dragged me up by the collar of my shirt and slapped me across the face. Hard.

"No." She spat. "No. Now _you_ are gonna listen to _me_! Day in and day out, you stay in this miserable rat's nest you call a room. Every single _fucking_ day Kataya, I have to deal with _your_ friends waiting for _you_ to go see them. Every single day, Emily has to make excuses for you so your parents won't wonder why you're not coming home. I am working _five_ nights a week for the pack as well as actually working so my own family has a home- all because _your_ friends are too worried to actually be of use! Yeah, you think your all alone in your thick skull- don't try denying it, I've been hearing your thoughts. _All_ of them. All you do is whine, whine, whine! Oh woe is me, I'm a monster! I hate myself! I listen to bad music rock songs and cut myself at night! The misery is too much to bear! No one understands me! I can't be near anyone! I'm not human! Blah, blah, blah!"

I blinked. Had she stopped yet?

She took a deep breath. _Of course not._

But she didn't say anything. She stared at me.

"Oh. My. God. _**I am so tired of this music**_!" Taking my stereo from its rightful place on my bedside table, Leah grabbed the wire and slammed it into the wall- breaking it into pieces. As if this wasn't enough, she took the _pieces_ and threw them out the window, shattering the glass in the process.

A prickle of anger pierced my heart. There had been a good mixed CD in there.

"For Christ's sake, Kataya! Will you ever react? You just stay there! Like a fricking dumb-ass lump on a log. You stare but see nothing! Can't you see you moron: _none_ of us are human! None of us! Yet you sit here, and disrupt the WHOLE pack, only thinking about your god damned self, because you can't fucking accept it. So _what_ if you're a vampire Kataya?? I seriously don't give a shit! It's only now that this has actually started disrupting _my_ life that I'm coming over here to tell you to find whatever common sense you have left in that miserable excuse you call a brainand _start using it_! And _oh my god_ Kataya will you react already?! Because congratulations! You've managed to make me so pissed off that I've come to beat some sense back into you personally! So do something! Show some sign of life! God-freaking-damnit!"

I was silent. The seconds dragged on by. She seemed to be expecting me to say something.

"Will you go away now?"

Her eyes practically bugged out of her head, and she took several deep breathes to calm herself down. When she spoke she sounded oddly composed.

"Ok, you know what? I'll take that for now." She sighed and looked at the broken window and door. "There's a party at my place on Saturday. Pack only. I want you to be there."

I blinked, what had happened to her kickass, pissed off attitude? Why was she so reasonable? What had happened to her? Was this the Leah everyone had come to know and fear (and distantly admire)?

I stared back at her, waiting for her to leave. "Are you going _now_?"

Leah rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'm going. And you can forget charging me for the door and the window, and the stereo, because I'm_ not _paying!" She marched her way to the non-existent door.

"Oh!" She said, turning back. "And wash your hair before you come, you look like shit."

And with that, she left.

I made my way to my bed like before. I was tired, so tired, but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. Instead, I cried. Or I tried to, but instead a thin wail escaped from my lips. I couldn't even cry properly anymore…

There was a knock on my…wall. I turned around, trying to keep my lower lip from trembling. Josh was leaning against the doorway, all the sympathy and guilt in the world radiating from his eyes and his stance.

"You can't shut me away now." He said, "But I'll still leave if you want me too."

My lip was trembling violently- I was trying so hard to keep from screaming my misery out loud. I knew my forehead was wrinkled hideously, and my hair looked horrible, and I smelled. I hadn't showered or brushed my teeth in days, or even changed my clothes. I had just stayed on my bed- motionless- until I needed to hunt. Then, the pattern would repeat.

I had become a shell. A walking, breathing shell. I wasn't human.

But then again, I never had been…

Right?

I got up and I ran. I ran to him- my best friend, my comrade, my brother. I ran right into him. He stood firm, wrapping his arms around me and waiting patiently for my dry sobs to end. It took awhile, but eventually I got myself under control.

I drew away.

He simply nodded, turned around, and walked away. "I'll come back tomorrow." He yelled back over his shoulder.

I blinked. I would need to get a new door


End file.
